Too Weak to Fight

Ephesians 6:10-12 says:

“Be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on all of God’s armor so that you will be able to stand firm against all strategies of the devil. For we are not fighting against flesh-and-blood enemies, but against evil rulers and authorities of the unseen world, against mighty powers in this dark world, and against evil spirits in the heavenly places.”

But what if I don’t want to fight?

If I’m being honest, I’m struggling lately. I don’t feel overwhelmed, or out of control or anything like that. I just… don’t care. The lies of the enemy are all around me and I’m just like… “Yeah. Sure. Come on in, make yourself comfy.” My head knows the truth but my heart has left the building.

Here are some things I know are lies:

I am unlovable.

I’m easily replaceable.

I have nothing to offer in almost any capacity.

I know those are lies. But I’m feeling them all.

Here is something I know is the truth:

I’m using the word “I” too much. It’s not about me.

Jesus fights for me. Jesus has already won the victory. Jesus is not waiting for me to mess up, he’s not tired of my moods. God’s power is made perfect in my weakness. And I’m grateful for that, because I am really weak. He loves me and desires joy for me, always.

Even in my desert place right now, I know He can be trusted. He has never failed me in the past and I have no reason not to trust Him now. He is the way, the truth and the life. His goodness, love and mercy will follow me all the days of my life. HIS perfect goodness, love and mercy – not what I thinkit is!

Lord…help. He answers a prayer even as small and weak as that – and maybe it’s the best prayer of all. Knowing I don’t have it in me to fight gives Him all the space and power to fight for me. Sometimes I just need to get out of the way and let Him work.

I’m a little nervous writing something like this. I feel pretty exposed. But if there’s anyone else out there who has felt or is feeling the same way, I just want you to know you’re not alone. Jesus loves you, and He cares for you and you matter.

Lord Jesus – fight for us. Thank You that You care for us perfectly and love us perfectly. Help us when we can’t feel it. Give us strength to put on Your holy armor and to trust You well against the enemy. Thank You for the victory you’ve already won. Thank You for your kindness and mercy to us all. Amen.

Written by Anna Holland: Anna Holland works in the Programming Department at America’s Keswick. She just recently fixed her vacuum cleaner by watching a YouTube video and that was kinda awesome. She loves cats and thinks that dogs and birds are ok.