Not All Help is Helpful
Posted on August 9, 2019 by Erin Culleny in Victory Call
Not all help is helpful. In working with families impacted by addiction for several years, there are a multitude of illustrations of hurting family members desperate to do the right thing to help a loved one overcome their addiction only to find out that instead they are not only NOT helping they are actually hurting the recovery of that loved one.
For example, here are some things that are not helpful:
1. Rescuing the person from the consequences of their choices over and over again
2. Treating a person as if she knows she needs help when she doesn’t
3. Any action that allows their poor choices to continue
4. Continually moving the acceptable limits of behavior just one more time
5. Failing to be true to your word
Here are some things that are helpful:
1. Mean what you say and follow through with what you said
2. Remember the person is not only hurting you but they are also hurting themself
3. Love without strings attached; if there are strings attached that is manipulation
4. Pray rather than nag
5. Encourage the person to take responsibility for their actions by not assuming responsibility for their actions.
Written by Stephanie Paul: Stephanie served on staff at America’s Keswick as Women of Character Director. She is married to Sesky; together they have 2 adult children.
Think About This: “What does love look like? It has the hands to help others. It has the feet to hasten to the poor and needy. It has eyes to see misery and want. It has the ears to hear the sighs and sorrows of men. That is what love looks like.” – Augustine
This Week’s Verse to Memorize: “Yet I am the Lord your God ever since the land of Egypt, and you shall know no God but Me; for there is no savior besides Me. – Hosea 13:4
Disclaimer: The views and opinions expressed in this article are those of the author and do not necessarily reflect the doctrinal and theological views held by America’s Keswick.