How To Listen So People Will Talk

Posted on October 31, 2022 by Elizabeth Welte in Freedom Fighters

“Know this, my beloved brothers: let every person be quick to hear, slow to speak, slow to anger; for the anger of man does not produce the righteousness of God.” James 1:19

Good morning on this new week of Freedom Fighter blogs. We are so thankful that you dial in with us each week.

As a leader, I have had to learn the hard way that there is a time to speak and a time to be silent.

I am basically an extrovert, so speaking is not always a problem. But I have learned that if you want to communicate well with people and get them to talk, you have to learn how to be quick to hear and slow to speak.

Nancy Cobb in her book “Is There a Moose in Your Marriage,” shares eight principles to help you listen so that others will talk.

  1. LOOK AT PEOPLE WHEN THEY SPEAK TO YOU. As hard as this is for so many of us – learn to look people in the eye. Not looking at the person sends a signal that you are not paying attention or your mind is not on what that person is sharing.
  2. LEAN FORWARD AS YOU LISTEN. This posture communicates that you are really interested in what they have to say.
  3. GIVE FEEDBACK. Respond by smiling. Respond by nodding. Ask questions to clarify what you heard. You can save a lot of hurt and misunderstanding by doing this.
  4. DON’T INTERRUPT OR CHANGE THE SUBJECT. Don’t finish their sentences. Let them say what they need to say. Let them finish before you speak.
  5. ALLOW THEM TO ASK QUESTIONS. Make it safe for them to ask you questions. No question is a dumb question.
  6. REPEAT BACK TO THEM SOME OF THE THINGS THEY SAID. This step is important as it validates that you were paying attention to what they had to say.
  7. COMPLIMENT THEM ON THEIR INSIGHTS AND WISDOM. This sends them a signal that it is really safe for them to share with you in the future.
  8. SHOW YOUR APPRECIATION. You will be amazed at how much your thanking them will open up doors for communicating on a deeper level.

These principles will help you communicate with your spouse, your kids, your employees, your boss, and people at church.

Before every meeting, I try to pray in my heart – let me be quick to hear and slow to speak in this situation. It has saved me lots of grief and having to beg for forgiveness.

Have a great week.

Undivided: By Christ, in Christ, for Christ,

Bill Welte, President/CEO
America’s Keswick

Email Bill at


Written by Bill Welte: President/CEO of America’s Keswick: Bill has been married to his childhood sweetheart for 40+ years and has four married kids and 12 amazing grandkids. He loves music and is an avid reader.

Think About This: “To be a Christian means to forgive the inexcusable because God has forgiven the inexcusable in you.” – C.S. Lewis

The Daily Bible Reading: Jeremiah 29-30; Titus 1 You can download our 2022 Daily Bible Reading Plan by clicking here. 

This Week’s Verse to Memorize: “Now, therefore, you are no longer strangers and foreigners, but fellow citizens with the saints and members of the household of God, 20 having been built on the foundation of the apostles and prophets, Jesus Christ Himself being the chief cornerstone…” – Ephesians 2:19-20

Want to get away & have dedicated time to read & learn God’s Word?

Consider a retreat at America’s Keswick retreat center.


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